I will discover a place that brings me peace, where the river flow rings sounds of calmness and the tadpoles huddle along the streamline. The trees will stand strong while birds rest on their branches. Hidden insects, tuck inside the bushes, will chirp in harmony. A young couple will rest to eat their snacks as they flirt with each other.
As for me, I’ll sit in the grass, alone. What is wrong? Something nags at my soul. Leave me alone. Go away. I would want to yell it into the thick, sticky hot July air. But who would hear me? So it stays.
I will stare off into the distance, where the water will fall, reflecting on my life and mediate on some resolutions. I will peel off my worries one at a time because I’ll realize that I have to live for today and allow tomorrow worries take care of itself.
Freedom will be declared on my unhealthy habits. I will own my problems and seize complaints.
I’ll have the strength to deny binge eating and drinking in an attempt to swallow my stress and cover-up my sorrows.
Then, I will stare back at the couple sitting on the other side of the river. I’ll admire their happiness and wish that it could be me—laughing at confusion, smiling at my pain, blushing at my fears, committing to a goal, embracing the moment, forgiving my past, taking care of myself, and forever loving me.
My eyes will slowly blink and a smile will stretch across my face. And in the moment, I will be free. Free to explore, to laugh at my struggle, sweat out my stress and accept me for me.
Because in the end, her eyes will be watching me. And we we will both learn the secret of health for mind and body:
“not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate trouble, but to live in the present moment wisely, and earnestly.”
And we will both live happily.