Date: Approximately end of March or early April
Time: Afternoon Rush Hour
“911 what’s your emergency?” “It’s an accident. A truck! A truck! It swerved! It swerved off the highway into an open field.” I panted.
“Ma’am where is the location?” the operator calmly asked. “It’s on the highway at the split for 95N and Interstate 495. You… know where….I’m talking about, right?” My words were coming out slow and my sentences were so choppy.
“The driver appeared to be dead. Or maybe not. Maybe she’s unconscious. I don’t think she fell asleep. The position of her body would’ve been limped. It would’ve been limped, right? Her back is on the door. Her mouth is wide open. Her eyes are closed shut. She almost hit me.” I babbled on and on.
“Ma’am we are getting numerous of calls about this accident. We have state troopers and support on its way.”
“I AM SICK OF IT! It’s going on 3years and it’s the same shit!” I screamed at my boyfriend while driving home from work. “You’re wilding! You’re blacking for no reason. I never said I was doing that.” He replied in the calmest monotone voice. That shit always pissed me off and elevated my anger.
“OH MY GOD…oh my god…oh my god!” “Carissa! Are you serious right now? You’re really going to blow this up!” he replied. “OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OHHHH MY GOD!!! I got to go! I have to call you back. OH MY GOD! I’m about to get into an accident!”
A UHAUL truck hit the side rail on the highway and was coming my way. I hung up on Buddha and screamed “oh my god” as I slid over into the far right lane. The truck swerved back into the left lane heading towards an open hilly field.The driver of the truck was slumped, mouth wide open with her head tilted back on the door. She couldn’t have fallen asleep. Her body wouldn’t have shifted to the side and her back would not be on the door.
I watched the UHAUL slowly tumble into the field and I couldn’t reverse my car to go help. But there were other vehicles behind me that were approaching the scene and pulling over. My heart was pounding and tears were filling the wails of my eyes. My body was in a state of shock that my eyeballs went stiff. My tears would not fall down. My eyes didn’t blink for a few moments. I quickly called 911 as I continued my drive home.
“Thank you for calling the PRINCE GEORGE’s county emergency line. The next sound you’re about to hear is for the death and impaired.” 1…2…3…4…5….6…7…8…9…10 seconds later felt like forever. WTF!!! My eyes finally blinked and rolled with aggregation. Finally, the operator picked up and I struggled to control my emotions to share everything that happened. This was traumatic for me. As soon as I hung up on the operator, Buddha was calling-blowing up my phone. He was worried.
“Hello!” “Yo! Are you ok? Did you get into an accident?” he asked. I shorthanded the report for him and told him I had to go pray! I needed to pray. What I had witnessed felt like a scene out of movie but only this time it was happening to my life in real time.
If I weren’t fasting from alcohol, a shot of tequila or cognac would’ve been ideal. Instead, I took Skye for a long walk and prayed again. I prayed for the young lady driving the UHAUL. I asked God to protect her and give her family strength. I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be but I asked God to keep them close to him.
Then, I mediated and prayed on my behavior. I began to question the “what ifs.” What if the truck had hit me? What if I caused an accident for being distracted while driving? What if I was texting and driving and wasn’t looking? I questioned my behavior. Was the screaming and yelling worth it? I didn’t win a prize for speaking louder. These were all actions or potential actions that had no pure rationale behind them. So why? For what?
Despite everything that had happened that day, I still managed to reflect, listen, and learn a very valuable lesson that day…“somethings are just not worth fighting for. Breath and let it go. Life is too short, so live in the moment.”
I never heard anything about the accident after that day. But in my heart, I know she’s ok and probably living to share her testimony.
Currently, I am still learning to live LIFE with love and peace because I would never doubt that tomorrow isn’t promised.
This blog just brought tears to my eyes. It was reliving my car accident. Life is definitely too short. I have the same problem with trying to get the award for being the loudest screamer which gets me no where. It’s not worth it … This blog has definitely help me realize I have to take a step back for self-reflexion !