denial & isolation..
friendship. i always valued the relationship. the joy. the laughters. the partnership. the commitment. the loyalty. the memories. friendship wasn’t just a title, the reality was friends were my family. it was a lifetime thing. a death due us part kind of thing. a one of a kind, kind of love. one that would fuss, then fight to make things right. but as the new decade welcomed me, some friends’ love became pain and the friendship was erased from our memory. perhaps our twenties prepared us for the discovery of who we were destined to be. maybe they thought, “she doesn’t deserve to know the new me.” perhaps the twenties mistaken some friends as family. i couldn’t believe i had lost friends, the people i considered family, at thirty.
[These are my open notes. Over the next month, I am making them public until my birthday on April 14th. Next up, anger.]