My linesister, Celia, had her very first Book Club Brunch at her chic bachelorette pad on Sunday. The sweet French Toast paired with bottomless Sangria undeniably prepped her guest for a debatable discussion around Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov.
Celia scanned the room to see if everyone was ready to kickoff the afternoon’s hot topic. The ladies had just finished sipping their glass of mimosa and chopping down some bruschetta when she asked,
“Are you a bitch or a nice girl?”
The diverse group of ladies, whom were single, dating, married, or a widow, confidently labeled themselves as either a bitch, nice girl, or a hybrid. It didn’t take long before personalities flourished defending their perspectives of a bitch, sharing their experiences as a nice girl, referencing sources from the book, and all the while revealing their mistakes and uncovered struggles.
Upon leaving, I definitely had a lot of self work to do. I had to get my shit together if I wanted to be happily married someday.
That wasn’t the only thing that occupied my thoughts. I was itching to know how my other girlfriends felt too, so I asked,
Are you a bitch or a nice girl? AND Why Do Men Love Bitches?
Check out some of the responses that was shared privately or at the brunch. You may find it to be truthful, resourceful, or debatable; however you feel—share it. Leave a comment. Don’t be shy.
Words from a Bitch
one with high expectation, confidence, no tolerance for bullshit, mysterious
“Men associate bitch with crazy and they like crazy bitches.”
“I’m a bitch. I am aggressive and I’ll tell you what I want and when I want it. I play no games.”
“I’m a queen. A man better be grateful to be in my presence and not take that shit lightly because I don’t have no problem cutting dat ass off.”
“Men are disposable.”
“I’m a bitch but I have to find a balance between being a nice girl and a bitch. Ultimately, a man don’t want to be with a bitch their entire life. That shit has an expiration date.”
“You can get a good 3-4 years of being a bitch before you to have start being nice, 5 if the n***a really fuck with you. I’m approaching my deadline. But that’s the thing, Bitches don’t care. Bitches are haBITCHual line crossers.”
Words from a Nice Girl
one that immediately loves wholeheartedly, pleaser, forgiver, transparent
“Guys walk over me as if I am a door mat.”
“I went out to smoke hookah with a friend one night. He ended up staying the night at my place. Nothing happened. But the next morning I fixed him a nice spread of breakfast. It wasn’t the same after he left.”
“If I really like a guy, I don’t have time to play games and pretend to be a bitch. I’m myself.”
Words from a Hybrid
Combination of a bitch and a nice girl
“My definition of nice girl is catering to them. Once they become comfortable with that then their true colors will shine. They will start to use your kindness as a weakness. Then, that’s when I become a bitch & that’s when the dynamics change. They start being nicer towards you because they know bitches don’t give a fuck—and for some reason, n**gas love that; but they take advantage of you when you’re nice and you’re catering to them.”
Ok, I’d had enough with all the girl talk. I needed to get to the bottom of it. So I asked a man, “Why Do Men Love Bitches?”
“Because doormats are too nice and clingy. They go along with everything. They have no mind of their own. They also care too much about everyone else’s opinion. On the hand, bitches, they keep it real. They don’t take shit and can care less about what everyone else thinks. They basically balance us. Yeah, sometime a dude likes to be able to do anything but that gets old to have a female that’s a yes girl. But bitches can get old too. I like traits of both.”
In retrospective, this seems like a never ending discussion. Right?! Damn.
I am constantly wondering, Do good girls really finish last? Does a man’s love for a bitch expire over time? And would a man really marry a bitch?
Here’s my opinion, I think a man would want the best of both worlds—a lady that has an attitude of a bitch and the heart of a nice girl. But who am I to say? I’ve done no research and hold no certificate in relationship counseling. I’m just a gal licensed in Real Talk. 🙂
What are your thoughts?
1. What classifies you as a bitch or a nice girl?
2. Why do men love bitches?
3. Do good girls finish last?
4. Will a man marry a bitch?
xo
thetwentiesgal.com 
Love this! Great Read! Xo
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I read this when I was 19. Took the advice to a T and lost the guy I was dating faster than a speeding bullet! Then I like Indira borrow it, she never returned it !
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i really loved this post. My friend has been wanting me to read this book for awhile, and i haven’t. But i plan to this year. I’ve been single for a whole year now (and LOVING it!) and i’ve just learned that it’s not about being a bitch or being nice, it’s about being yourself. I think “being a bitch” to me, means having standards, morals, and expectations and sticking to them. “being nice” is just who i am. I’m a nurturer, i like caring for people and showing love and support, which I know can be overbearing for other people. It’s all about balance. I’m working on the ‘bitch’ part, but the nice-girl part I’ve got down, maybe a little “too-down.”
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YESSSSS!!! It’s all about balance. I’m a work in progress too! (I have a long way to go.) lol.
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To offer a male viewpoint (a bit like stepping through a minefield!), the danger here is with generalizing on a subject which some will take literally. No denying some men see women as objects to conquer, but there are others who see them in a more appreciative way. I would suggest a good discussion would be around how to determine a man’s perspective so you can then decide how you wish to react! “Why men love bitches.” is probably a very good attention getter to sell a book, but “Why some men love bitches.” would be more honest!
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I agree, the title was probably given as an attention getter. You suggested “a good discussion would be around how to determine a man’s perspective..” Tell me more. Could you clarify if you are referring to a man’s perspective of a woman’s traits?
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I was trying to draw a distinction between assuming a man’s perspective and therefore planning an appropriate reaction vs being open minded about a man’s perspective and adjusting your reaction accordingly.
How can you tell a man’s perspective, is a matter of understanding the variables ….. and of course learning from your gender colleagues.
This can get very complicated because the man is probably doing exactly to same!
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hmmm…great point.
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Yay…………. not bad for a man eh!
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